Wednesday, 25 December 2013

Abnormal

Receiving a heart attack in the middle of the night is one thing. Having a depression attack is another. Both, destructive. Both suggest an urgency to run to a doctor but I prefer to sit it out.

I am not having a heart attack. I am having a depressive episode.
There are things in life that I have to do--duties, dreams-wants! So much work still pending and I have so little time left. This is my depression. I have some important task to attend to and I am unable to concentrate on its preparation. On top of that I'm not good with people, I have trouble keeping up with this world, and I have to take care of many little projects that I have started here and there in order to gain fruits from it tomorrow. Sadly, I am unable to concentrate on those projects as well. And you know what sucks more? That despite every wrong thing happening in life , that one writer's voice in my head doesn't stop. It keeps on babbling and forces me to write it down. Look! How I am babbling out my depression here on this digital page even when my eyes want to sleep it out, my brain wants me to stay awake. Is this a therapy am giving to myself?

Does blogging help us fight our depressions?

I don't know.. but if its a help. Take it. Try to write it out. Sometimes we can get better only by talking to pages, really. Nothing, no one, absolutely nothing in the world can replace the comfort given by a paper and a pen to someone who is in pain. That's why I believe some of the greatest writers the world has seen were diagnosed with depression or stress disorders. Abnormal, isn't it? Yet awesome...

........Should I type more? No--shut up.. or maybe try to write a little more. 
I think sleeping would be best
No! stay up and finish what you started
finish it! finish it... oh thats like the one from the fountain film.. Finish it! finish it ! finish it!
....and am again talking in my head letting that voice win .. Khudaya! this is scary cool
I will end this post on a dua and then log out from the blog

May Allah guide us all and protect us in times of despair. Ameen.


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